When did rest become something we have to earn?

So, in case you didn't know, I'm from New York. (Knicks in 5!!! 🏀🧡💙😆)

There's a culture here where rest can almost feel frowned upon. It's the hustle culture. The city that never sleeps.

I don't currently live in one of the five boroughs, but one could argue that Yonkers is the sixth! And really, a lot of American culture has adopted that same mentality: hustle, grind, work, work, work, go, go, go.

And honestly, who could blame us?

We're living in a tough economy where many people are doing whatever they can to make ends meet and take care of their families. And the United States is not exactly known for generous paid time off 😏.

I especially experienced this when I lived in Manhattan in my 20s.

Everyone seemed to be speed-walking or running to catch the train or bus to their next destination. Even outside of work, there was often an expectation—especially among young adults—to have a full calendar and several social engagements lined up in a single day. At least that's what I observed among some of my more extroverted friends. 😂

It could feel strange to simply... do nothing.

To rest....

There was pressure to fit in, keep up, and have as much going on as everyone else.

So what am I getting at?

Yes, we should make sure we're getting adequate physical rest. I think most of us have heard the recommendation to aim for 7–9 hours of sleep.

But that's only one kind of rest.

Do we have the awareness to recognize when we need mental rest, soul rest, or spiritual rest?

I have a day job where I work both onsite and from home. I used to come home from an onsite day completely exhausted, only to have more work waiting for me at home.

Many times, I would just power through.

"Let me get this done so I can move on with the rest of my day."

But as I pushed through, I noticed something happening.

I became increasingly irritated and bitter. My brain felt foggy. And the work that I was trying so hard to finish wasn't necessarily getting done any better.

Eventually, I started experimenting with taking a short nap or simply stepping away for a little while.

And when I returned to my work, I was often calmer, more relaxed, and able to think more clearly.

I realize not everyone has the flexibility to take a nap in the middle of their workday. That's not the point.

The point is that my body was telling me something, and I finally started listening.

As we talked about last month, I believe our bodies are constantly communicating with us. Our job isn't always to push through the signal. Sometimes our job is to pause long enough to ask:

What do I actually need right now?

Maybe it's sleep.

Maybe it's a few quiet minutes.

Maybe it's stepping outside.

Maybe it's putting the phone down.

Maybe it's prayer.

Maybe it's simply giving yourself permission to stop being productive for a little while.

And sometimes, we may not have the ability to give ourselves exactly what our bodies are asking for in that moment. Life has responsibilities. Work has deadlines. Families need us.

But awareness gives us the opportunity to respond in whatever practical way we can.

Because rest isn't simply the absence of work.

Rest is creating space to receive.

To receive restoration.

To receive clarity.

To receive peace.

To receive what we need so that we can return to our lives with something to give.

And maybe that's why rest has felt so uncomfortable in our culture.

We've been taught to measure our worth by what we produce.

But you are a human being—not a machine.

You don't have to earn your right to rest.

Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is listen.

And sometimes listening means resting.

🌿 Soul Prosper Practice

Today I invite you to practice noticing.

The next time you feel tired, overwhelmed, irritable, foggy, or simply "off," pause before automatically pushing through.

Take a breath and ask yourself:

What kind of rest do I need right now?

Don't judge the answer.

Don't immediately tell yourself why you can't have it.

Just listen.

Then ask:

What is one small, realistic way I can honor that need?

It may not be a two-hour nap or an entire day off.

It might be five quiet minutes.

And that's okay.

We're not aiming for perfection.

We're practicing awareness.

We're learning to listen.

And perhaps, little by little, we're remembering something we knew all along:

Rest is not weakness. It is part of caring for the life we've been entrusted with.

Thank you for taking another few moments to pause and reflect with me.

I'm grateful you're here, and I hope this space continues to be a gentle reminder to slow down, listen, and care for yourself with intention and compassion.

And if you ever find yourself wanting some support as you navigate your health and well-being, I'd be honored to walk alongside you. I offer complimentary, no-pressure consultations where we can simply talk, get to know one another, and explore whether coaching might be a good fit for you.

Also… if you enjoyed this reflection and know someone who might benefit from it, please feel free to share it with them. You never know who might need the reminder that it's okay to slow down, listen, and rest. 

With care,

Dr. Aisha